Flat on Your Face

Do you ever have that longing feeling to be loved? To have that someone that every time you look in their face, you can just see the love they have for you staring back at you. I believe this is a natural sentiment that all humans set out for. But here is the scary part that I have recently realized. I’m not sure it can always be found from the people we surround ourselves with.

There is a key word in that last sentence, people. People are by definition, human. And humans are by definition imperfect. So when there is a search for this feeling of unconditional love from people, whoever they are, at some point they will fail you. It has happened to all of us. It will continue to happen. It unfortunately, is just they way it is.

I found myself face down on the floor in a dark room, simmering with tears. It was a situation where I had been let down by someone I love, and I had let down someone that I love. But at that moment, all I wanted was to simply feel loved. And I didn’t. It is a tough place to be. But I did learn and experience something for the first time. I could come up with this good story of this glorious revelation, angels singing (in my head), and light coming down. But, that is not how it happened. As I laid there praying to feel love, I got what I wanted, in a way. I am loved. I know that in my head, I feel it in my heart. But at that moment, it was there. Did it solve the pain I was feeling? I would be lying if I said everything was healed at that moment. But it absolutely put everything in perspective. There is no greater love that we can receive than the one already given to us.

You see, I think I might have figured out why some people could have trouble believing that there is a loving God. I think it might because they have read the verses in the bible and heard people say that God loves you, but they could not look in his face and just see the love He has for us staring back. I mean, you can see it in the mountains, and beaches, and oxygen, and baseball; but I mean really see the Face of God looking back at you covered with unconditional love.

People will fail you. It is a given. But I think it is our job as followers of Christ to “minimize the damage.” I hope to continue to be loved by the people around me. I hope that God grants me the strength to truly love as He commanded. I know that I will continue to be loved by my Creator. To those who have failed me, I will get over it.

To those I have failed, I am sorry.

-Amen