Playing Catch

Today my son and I played catch. It is not out of the norm for us to play catch, or some big accomplishment.  And it wasn't because we were enjoying the beautiful spring-like day in December, which we ultimately did anyway. Today my son and I played catch for a bigger reason.  A few years ago on this day my dad suddenly and unexpectedly passed away.  And as anyone who has lost a parent knows, losing someone that close to you does not allow for your life to  ease back to normal quickly. It is a pain and loss that is hard to describe with words.  But in the midst of that loss, I often find myself longing for a connection with my dad.  So today I asked my 8 year old son if I could play catch with him.  Now, I admit I am one of those baseball purist who like to romanticize about how baseball is a metaphor for life (yes I tear up every time I watch the final scene of Field of Dreams, and yes today's throwing time was somewhat inspired by that scene), but I could not have found a better way of honoring my dad on this day than going out and playing catch with my boy.

There is just something about being able to step out and toss the ball, and have the ball return back to you every time that goes beyond time, it goes beyond the throws. The power is in the moment, but it far exceeds any particular moment.  I had this profound sense that I was playing catch with my son today, but I was also playing catch with my dad again, as we have so many times throughout my life. And even more, it's as if my son was able to take part in a game of catch with his PawPaw, which he never really had a chance to do.  I still hold tight to a lot of wonderful memories of my dad, and a great multitude of those memories involve that leather ball we were throwing around today.  Baseball was not such a big part of our relationship because that was the only time I could spend time with my dad, in fact it was just the opposite.  You probably wouldn't have described dad as a baseball man before he had kids.  But because his kids loved baseball, he became a baseball man.  Dad poured himself into the desires of his kids because he wanted nothing more than for us to get a taste of our dreams. Nothing was impossible for us boys in the eyes of my dad. (Although side note here, my mom was actually the one who taught me how to pitch.  That's another post for another day, but just wanted to give credit where it was due) 

During this Christmas season, as we celebrate the baby being born, it is a reminder for us to look for God in the midst of everyday life, especially in the times of loss and darkness.  God took on flesh to show us that we can experience Him right here, right now in these everyday moments we call life.  Today, throwing that ball with my boy, I got to experience a little bit of heaven.  I got to connect with my son...and my dad.  I got to see heaven and earth mingle.  We were just playing catch, but it was so much more.

A Purple Nation

I have a bit of an unusual fascination with Election Day. It is not unusual that I would care about the election or who wins, but it is very unusual the amount of anticipation I would have as a kid for Election Day. I remember being a 10 year old and a 14 year old staying up all night looking at this red and blue map, completely engaged in this process that is Democracy. I think part of the allure of Election Day for me is that it often falls on my birthday. So there is a connection. Some years I get a really cool birthday gift from the people of the United States. But this red and blue map has evolved with the times. It is much more than a simple indicator for who had the most votes in a particular state; it has now become an amazing analysis tool. CNN had the ability this last election to dissect election results all the way down to particular districts and show the demographic breakdown of exactly who was voting for each candidate. Talk about adding to my engagement level. My wife didn't realize that there is actually a time that I do not watch ESPN on TV.

But this map has also created a disturbing paradigm. Now, entire states are being designated as “blue states” and “red states”. And with those designations, there is an implication to the beliefs and values of the people within that state. If you are “red state” people then you have certain beliefs, and if you are “blue state” people then you have other certain beliefs. And there is no wiggle room. If you fall in line with one side or the other, than you have to be willing to take on all of the values that go with your particular color. Think about the Tea Party experiment taking place right now. You have folks from a particular party actually voting out people from their own party because they do not match the entire checklist of beliefs. It is an interesting phenomenon to say the least.

So why is this so disturbing? Well because I believe that the political color designations do not work for someone who has chosen to follow Jesus. As a person who follows Jesus, we have to recognize and own truth wherever we find it. We are not defined by the beliefs of a political party or color, we are defined by the values of the Kingdom of God. So this means on some issues we fall in line with the values associated with the “red states”, but on other issues we will fall in line with the values associated with the “blue states”. Jesus called us to anticipate the coming of His Kingdom and to work to make that coming happen. We are to put our hope and our trust in Him, not in a political party. If you truly believe that this is a Christian nation, then you would not have red and blue states, that impressive CNN map would be completely purple. Because as a follower of Jesus, you can hold tightly to the value of life, and at the same time believe in the importance of helping the least of these as Jesus called us to do. We can believe that we should be good stewards with our money, and at the same time be concerned for God’s creation. We would have the ability to take a little of the red and to take a little of the blue and realize that our beliefs are actually purple.

As Christians, we cannot be afraid to engage in the political process. It is important to have a voice in that conversation. But that voice is not a conservative one or a liberal one necessarily, it is a Christian one. Let us not tune in to political talk radio or TV and listen to the obnoxious know-it-alls to decide what we should believe. Let us read the bible, and listen to the words of Jesus for what we should believe. Because if we did that, then we could get rid of those red and blue states, and we could actually focus on painting this nation purple.

Charles Barkley

I’m sure everyone has heard about Charles Barkley being in the news again recently. It wasn’t because of his never-ceasing one liners or even his “it’s not so bad” gambling habit. This time it was because of an unfortunate DUI incident that caused him to be suspended from his commentator job for a few weeks and locked up in jail for a few hours. Barkley apologized for his actions and has now gotten back into the TNT studio. But it brought back another time that Sir Charles was in the news for something other than his basketball skills.

Back when Barkley was at the height of his super-stardom, he delivered one the more famous quotes of our generation, “I’m no role model…” Now we can get all analytical and say that the premise of his statement is correct, he shouldn’t be a role model. That job should be left up to the parents, yada yada yada. Here is the fact, he was a role model whether he wanted to be or not. He was a role model whether we think he should be or not. His job, his occupation, the spotlight in which he lived, inherently caused kids and adults all over the world to look to him as a sort of pseudo-hero. Look at how much money is spent on player’s jerseys, posters, and cards. It is just a fact that is indisputable. It is a responsibility that comes with the territory.

Recently my small group has been studying a book by Rob Bell called Jesus Wants to Save Christians. Coinciding with the book study, our church was doing a sermon series called “the Priesthood of All Believers.” The basic thread that the book and the series held in common was that as Christians we are given a calling, or a mission, or an identity, from God. We are called to be a “Kingdom of Priests,” so that the world may know and understand more about God. This idea of “Kingdom of Priests” is stated directly in both the Old (Exodus 19) and New Testaments (1 Peter 2), and is evident throughout the Bible. We are to live our lives in a way that reflects the divine. We are to be different in a way that people look at Christians and say, “There is something about those people that I need to find out about.”

This idea of reflecting the divine and living as priests is pretty heavy. And in neither the series nor the book is it presented as a way of earning anything. Instead it is as Paul wrote in one of his letters; we are to give grace because we have been given grace. It is a response to the glorious gift and relationship that we already have. But it is most certainly a responsibility that God makes clear to us. The feedback from the group was quite interesting, and I must admit a little surprising. A lot of responses could be summarized as, “I just don’t want that responsibility.” There were echoes of Charles Barkley in the room, “I’m no role model.” But here is the deal, just as Barkley was a role model whether he chose to embrace it or not; we are, as Followers of Jesus, Priests whether we choose to embrace it or not. The fact is, as Christians, we are always preaching the Gospel…it is just a matter of which Gospel are you choosing to share?

Finding Christmas

I went back to my hometown for thanksgiving to spend some time with family. The drive down the interstate made it quite obvious that the effects of Hurricane Ike were still gripping the entire area encompassing my hometown. The blue tarps on the roofs and the “sea mulch” piled high on the side of the roads were unavoidable reminders of the devastation the storm brought to the region. Yet, we still continued our tradition of sitting down together and having a good meal, and of course watching football.

On the day of Thanksgiving, I decided to go for a run. I recently got back into the routine of working out regularly, and I knew that it would not be good for my routine if I were to take off for the holiday. I also knew that it would not be good for my waistline if my only exercise was getting up for seconds of turkey and dressing. So I decided I would be strong and go for a run.

As I said earlier, there were very few places you could go within the city that you would not see some effect of the storm, and my running path was no different. While I was running, I came across a scene that made me stop running. There was a house that was pretty much destroyed and unlivable. In the front yard of the house was the ever-popular government issued FEMA trailer. There are quite a few of those around, including the one my parents are currently living in. But there was something about this trailer that made me smile, as odd as that sounds. On the front door of this makeshift shelter hung a red Christmas ribbon with a bell at the bottom. It was not something you could miss, the red color up against the pale white of the FEMA trailer made the ribbon jump out at you as if it were literally glowing.

The people who lived in this FEMA trailer was announcing to the world what Christmas is all about, whether they knew it or not. They had endured one of the most devastating storms in recorded history, their house was wiped out, all of their belongings and pictures and memories were lost, and they were spending Thanksgiving in a tiny trailer; and yet they hung a defiant red ribbon on their door. The Christmas story is about a people who are oppressed ruthlessly, taxed beyond their means, living in poverty, believing that God had forgotten them; and to them, a baby is born. A revolutionary baby who provided a different way to live. A baby who reminded his people that God had definitely not forgotten them or anybody. A baby who flipped all the ways of the world upside down. A baby who started a revolution of faith, hope, and love that continues today. It continues because each follower of Jesus chooses to live their life in the Way that Jesus taught. A Way that says it is not a matter of if storms will come but when, and how we deal with these storms is the more important matter. We are called to faithfully be the hope of the world by bringing love into all situations including (especially) the bad ones. We are called to be a light in the darkness, a city on a hill, a red ribbon hanging on a FEMA trailer. That is what Christmas is all about.

Thank You

Sometimes we struggle with these “deep theological” questions. We struggle so much that these questions often divide the body of Christ. Did Adam and Eve eating the apple really cause all bad things to happen? Are we supposed to shove sin in people’s faces to bring them closer to Christ? One of my favorites is, if you died today where would you go? Then there are the other “important matters of Christianity”. How do we let people know they can give money to the church? Do we make announcements at the beginning of the service or in the middle? Do we wear our Sunday’s best or just our t-shirt and shorts? All of these questions I have had passionate discussions about on many occasions. But what did it teach me about following Christ?

My wife typically avoids these conversations at all cost. For her, what is the point in talking about things that you cannot change?

Today we found out that a dear friend of ours finally lost her battle with cancer. It was an amazing, courageous, and inspiring battle. I have never seen people facing such odds and still continue with relentless hope, until I watched my friend and her husband march into battle against this disease. Don’t get me wrong, there were many hard days (weeks and months for that matter), but through it all I saw something. My wife was walking side by side with this couple, through the limited highs and the drastic lows. She too was awe inspiring. To me, she was an example of what following Jesus is all about. My wife saw two people living with unimaginable darkness all around them, and chose to step boldly into that darkness and bring the light of Christ’s grace, peace, and love to them. She taught me more about being a follower of Christ than I could learn by asking a thousand questions. I learned more about being a Christian from watching her over the last few years than any sermon I have ever sat through. I heard a pastor say once that as Christians we are suppose to be the Eucharist for the world, we are suppose to open ourselves up and pour ourselves out so that others may experience love and grace just as we have. I now know what that means. Because through my wife’s passionate love, I have experienced Christ, and I know our friends have as well.

So to my wife, thank you.

Love versus Law

There often is this discussion at my Christ on Campus group about trying to follow all of the laws (commandments) in the bible. Somewhere in our religious education, we have filled the minds of our young people that in order to be a good Christian you have to do a whole list of things right. I had one of them tell me that their pastor said one Sunday that if they continued doing what they were doing, they would go to hell (which presented a completely different topic for discussion.) Why are we so fixated as a religious community to not only follow the laws ourselves to a “T”, but to be quick to make sure that everyone else is following the same laws that we are?

I think the reality is we resort back to following laws because it is what we know. It is something that we can wrap our human minds around. It gives us a checklist that is tangible. But what do we make of Jesus’ teachings? Jesus was asked this important question about what commandment is the greatest commandment of all. Basically the question is, I don’t think I can keep all 600 commandments all of the time, so which one should I really make sure I follow? Jesus’ response was probably a surprise to the questioner. But if we read Jesus’ teachings, his response should not be a surprise to us. Jesus responds that the most important commandment is love. Love for our God, love for our neighbor (everyone). So how can we reconcile this? All we have been taught is to follow the rules, and then Jesus comes and flips everything upside down. How does it relate?

I think there may be an easier way of thinking about this. Drawing from my education background, I think this illustration may help. Imagine you are one of those students in class that, for whatever reason, tends to spend more time in in-school detention than in the actual classroom. Why would you want to stay in the classroom, the classes are boring, and all the teachers do is nit-pick everything about you? Then, after all of these years, you actually get a teacher that you think is pretty cool. At first you really are not too worried about the actual subject, but you really like the teacher and you can tell that the teacher truly cares about its students. Then you realize, you actually like being in that class. So you start doing what you need to do in the other classes in order to make sure that you are not in detention when it is time for your favorite class. Now imagine if you could have every class with this teacher who respects and cares for you as much as you like being in the teacher’s class. You would probably start making sure you change your behavior to the point where you did not miss class anymore. This transformation takes place due to respect, affection, and love.

For some of us, rules work just because we do not want to face any consequences. It may not be because we particularly like the teacher or the subject. We may not even learn anything. But we just do not want to be sent anywhere bad, so we follow the rules. But I think Jesus was going beyond the consequences. I think He was talking about a way of life. We have our Teacher who is compassionate and truly cares and loves all of us. Rather than just following these rules or laws or commandments that we do not really know the backgrounds of some of them, just that we were told in Sunday school that we were suppose to follow them, Jesus says that we should love. We should cherish being able to experience God through loving his children, and that we should long to always be in the presence of God. This transformation takes place in us to where we do what we need to do to experience God as much as possible. Love, for God and our neighbors, consumes us to the point to where the rules take care of themselves. If rule following brings you closer to the presence of God and His calling for us, then by all means continue. However, if the rules just do not seem to fit with what you read of Jesus’ teachings, try to follow His greatest commandment and start loving. I bet the rest will follow.

Lord, Hear My Prayer

Lord,

Sometimes I just do not get it. How can so much happen to one person? I believe in You, I have faith in You, and I know down deep in my soul that all good is from You. I know that You love them just as much as You love all of us, but I do not know if they will ever believe that. How could they with all that has happened.

I want to show them what Your love is. I want them to feel the comfort of Your loving arms. I want them to know that it is You who cries with them, and it is You who wipes away their tears. But I do not know if they will ever believe that. How could they with all that has happened?

I realize that it is not for me to know. I realize that I cannot see the big picture that You can see. But that does not help. It is hard to see it happen and to be helpless. That is why I am praying this prayer. I believe with You, I am not helpless. I pray for strength and endless love for us. I pray for comfort, a glimpse of light in the midst of great darkness, and a miraculous healing with a touch from Your hand for them. Lord, I believe. I know they can as well, even with all that has happened, because we are talking with You.

Guide us, strengthen us, and use us.

Amen.

"No One Should Go Hungry"

I recently attended this church that my wife and I go to ever so often. On this particular day, one of the members of the church had asked the pastor if they could make an announcement to the congregation. The member was a part of some big-time committee for the church, and was going to inform the congregation of all that was being done through the committee for the church. By his speech I could deduce that there had been different questions and concerns raised about certain issues involving the church, but I honestly knew very little about the details of the issues he was addressing. So at this time I kind of zoned out while the gentleman continued his explanation of actions and directives taken by the committee for the church.

I zoned out until he started talking about the new building that was being constructed on the church property. The building is some sort of family-life building, or whatever title they have given it. The building is going to have a gym and it is going to be the setting for the contemporary service once the building is complete. As you know from reading some of my other blogs, this kind of caught my attention. But then the gentleman made a comment that I could grab on to. He made the comment kind of as a half-hearted, tongue in cheek joke. But I think there is so much more to his comment than the original intent. The comment was talking about the facilities of the church. With all of the buildings combined, after the new building is finished, the church will have five kitchens for its use. After stating this, the committee leader said, “With five kitchens no one should go hungry.”

My wife and I looked at each other and instantly communicated without saying a word, as we are so good at doing since we agree on everything (or not). But the fact is, when we looked at each other we knew, he was right. He was absolutely right. With five kitchens able to be used, no one should go hungry. And I know this church; I know this church is about much more than Sunday mornings. I know this church is about reaching out and loving others. This church has an opportunity to reach out and touch the community that surrounds it in a way that very few churches can. There is no reason that those five kitchens should not be in almost constant use. With where this church is located, there are absolutely people who could use a good warm meal. Who better to serve that meal than the body of Christ? Who better to give the warm meal with a loving smile than those who have accepted the call to be the hands and feet of Jesus? Is there a better way to continue to bring the Kingdom of Heaven to people who live in this darkness of both physical and spiritual hunger?

Of course you run the risk of someone showing up to church that does not look like you, or talk like you, or dress like you, or smell like you. But I think that is what it is all about.

Sportscenter

Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.
-Matthew 5:4

I have this really bad habit. I will turn the television on and start watching a baseball game or Sportscenter, and then walk out of the room and leave my wife having to listen to Stuart Scott screaming on the TV. Let’s just say that it kind of gets on my wife’s nerves a little bit. I really do not do it on purpose, even though she sometimes questions my intent.

Well, it is amazing how God works sometimes. The other night, I am sitting there in my chair watching Sportscenter, disgusted at another Astros loss. So I decide I am going to go check my email to get my mind off of the unfortunate season that the Astros are having us all endure this year. And as you can guess, I leave the TV on for my “sports-crazed” wife to watch.

As I am sitting at the computer I hear my wife call from the other room, and I immediately think, “Oh crap, here it comes. I left it on Sportscenter…again.” But instead she hollers out a question that kind of throws me off guard. “What kind of cancer did that pitcher from Boston have?” I obviously wonder, “Who are you and what have you done with my wife?” I say, “I don’t know but I will definitely find out,” so I immediately started searching all of my frequently visited sports websites for the answer. I would have called the Boston Red Sox clubhouse if it meant having my wife interested in anything dealing with baseball. So of course, my master skills in navigating the World Wide Web produced the answer to her question. Then she asked, “Can you email that article to my work email?” I know what you are thinking, heaven to my ears. “Absolutely,” I quickly responded. Then she explained where this temporary personality switch was coming from. She was going to email the triumphant story to a friend who needed to hear about it.

My wife has a dear friend who is currently battling this demon that we call cancer. And the friend was struggling with the news that Tammy Faye Messner had finally lost her battle with the disease. There wasn’t a TV station that you could turn to that did not have images of the finality of Tammy Faye’s courageous battle, and you can understand why. What a battle it was. So rather than gripe about my leaving her least favorite TV show blaring from the television again, she discovered a way to help lift up a friend. Here is the deal, sometimes God can talk to us from places that we least expect, even Sportscenter. When you choose to become a follower, and you choose to walk through people’s struggles with them, and you choose to carry the light of Jesus through the darkest places, you have to keep your ears open. If my wife was not authentically invested in her friend and the struggles her friend has to live with, that story about the Boston Red Sox pitcher who had made a dramatic return to the big leagues would have sounded like any other baseball story. But when you truly invest in someone with the love that Christ calls us to, you are constantly searching for ways to bring comfort to them in their time of need. All I can hope for is that we may be the instruments of comfort for those who need it.

So now I have a reply to my wife when she asks me why I am watching Sportscenter for the third time in a row, I can just tell her that I just want to make sure that I did not miss something I was suppose to hear. Nah, that wouldn’t work.

Rows of Crosses

Well, we just got back from Washington D.C. It was an awesome experience for someone like me who really gets into history, and the stories that make up the foundation of our great country. Well, everything was awesome except for the flight over and the hotel; but that is another story. Frankly I’m not sure there is enough room here for me to explain everything that happened. But the important thing is we went, had fun, and made it back.

There was a part of the trip that really spoke to me. It was one of those moments that kind of just jumps out at you. It was a day after we walked roughly 6 miles looking at all of the monuments in DC (and there are a lot of monuments), and my wife’s feet were killing her. So we decided to take the mobile tour of Arlington Cemetery. This is one of the places that I had to go see. I have always been intrigued by and studied JFK’s presidency and everything that surrounded it. So one of the must see places in DC was the eternal flame at Kennedy’s grave. It was just an unbelievable moment for me, to read some of his words engraved in the marble surrounding his grave, and diving into the ideals that he was seeking for our country.

But this is not the part that spoke to me. That came while we were riding around the cemetery on the tour train. If you have never been to the Arlington Cemetery, everywhere you look there are rows and rows of crosses. These crosses are aligned in perfect formation for as far as you can see, and each one represents a soldier who represented our country in the military (most having died while in combat). And it just seemed to illustrate one of those Christian beliefs that some people tend to have a little trouble understanding and fully grasping.

See, I didn’t personally know any of those who were laid to rest. Only a few of them did I even know their story. Yet, there they lay. I was able to go to Washington D.C. and walk around the city and ride on the subway and write this blog because of those crosses that fill the grounds there in Arlington. These men and women paid the ultimate sacrifice so that I can enjoy the freedom that I do today, and I didn’t do anything to deserve it. It was not because of how nice I was to any of them, and I cannot do anything now to pay them back. It is a gift that they have already given; it is not something that I have to earn. The only thing I can really do is make sure that this amazing gift was not given in vain.

It all made sense. This amazing gift of grace that has been given by our Savior, it is not something that we can earn. There is no way for us to pay back what has been given to us. We just have to make sure that this gift was not given in vain. We have to do everything within our power to make sure we are living the life that we were called to live, that we are fulfilling the mission we were given by Jesus, that we are continuously spreading His Kingdom where Hell is on this earth. May we live in this freedom that we have been given, and may we do what we can to help others experience that same freedom.

The Smell of Beer

I never knew how important the smell of beer in a truck could be.

As I was riding in the passenger seat of this newer truck, I thought to myself that it might have been the first time that there was a lingering smell of alcohol in a moving vehicle and I was not feeling either guilty or scared. In fact, I was thankful for the aroma of the beer.

You see, we were heading to a Bible study to meet a group of friends, who as of about a month ago were strangers to a couple of us. And the person who was responsible for introducing all of us was sitting in the back seat riding with us to our meeting place. We drop by every week, and every week he is surprised that we have shown up, and he has to hustle and get dressed and finish his beer so that we can get there in time.

After each week, he gets back in the truck when it is all over and says that he is glad that we showed up to bring him down, that this time it was really good for him to hear what was being said. And yet, the next week, you can almost be assured that he is going to be surprised that we are there and he will still be drinking his beer. He will most likely get in the truck and tell us about the most recent fight he had with his girlfriend, or his most recent run-in with the police, or “clarify” for us that he is just having his first beer. Frankly, we can expect that not much has changed with his life from the week before.

But that is not what is important. It is not important to have him say some prayer and tell him that everything is going to get easier because of the prayer he just prayed. It is not important to continuously lay guilt on him for things that he might have allowed to go awry in his life. I’m not sure if any of that is the point.

I think it is important that somebody is there every week at his place to see him, and talk with him, and let him know that someone cares. I think it is important that somebody is there to help him work through issues he may be having rather than condemning him. I think it is important that he can see that there are other ways, other options. I think it is important that someone gives him a ride to hear the Word. I think it is important that someone simply shows up. I’m just glad that God has sometimes allowed that someone to be me.

I never knew how important the smell of beer in a truck could be.

Breathing Again

I know, I know, it has been a while since I have entered anything into my blog. I have been reminded of this by several people. I could blame it on my busy schedule during baseball season. Or that I was trying to get everything ready to finish school out and prepare for another summer. As true as that would be, it would not be the entire truth.

The fact is it has been really hard to put down in words what I have been feeling inside. I heard this person say once, that the thing with yoga, is you are suppose to continue this constant rate of breathing no matter what contorted position you may be trying to put your body in. Whether you are sitting with your legs simply crossed, or if you have yourself in a knot, you just control your breathing. I thought this concept was very interesting. Just keep breathing.

You see, the beginning of this year was an amazing chain of events, amazing not being such a good thing. It seemed as though life hit my wife and I in the gut, and then did not stop. We experienced so much turmoil, and the hard part of this was we could not control any of it. We just had to endure it. Throughout everything that happened, I would do my best to let go of the control of the situation. But after the weeks and months continued to send this stuff at us, I was just in a contorted position that I have never been in before. I did everything I could to help my wife keep breathing through it. I did everything I could to help my brother keep breathing. I did everything I could to help my parents keep breathing. Then I realized I had started holding my breath. Isn’t that what we do, when we get in a stressful situation, as we are trying to figure out what we are suppose to do, we simply stop breathing.

This pastor that I listen to often talks about the word breath being a powerful thing in scripture. He talks about how this breath that we take could be the Spirit of God running through us, strengthening us and helping us endure and live. So why stop breathing? I realized I had no control over the beginning of 2007 and everything that came with it, and I realized that I had allowed it to take my breath away. At that point I decided to just start breathing again and to find the will of God for me through the journey.

I wish I could say that all the suffering and pain stopped at that very moment, it did not. Life still happens. But now, we are all breathing our way through it. My wife and I are expecting our first baby (a boy!), my dad is cancer free, I have a new windshield for my truck, my wife has a new car, my brother has a good job, my mom is happy(er), and we are all breathing again.

Flat on Your Face

Do you ever have that longing feeling to be loved? To have that someone that every time you look in their face, you can just see the love they have for you staring back at you. I believe this is a natural sentiment that all humans set out for. But here is the scary part that I have recently realized. I’m not sure it can always be found from the people we surround ourselves with.

There is a key word in that last sentence, people. People are by definition, human. And humans are by definition imperfect. So when there is a search for this feeling of unconditional love from people, whoever they are, at some point they will fail you. It has happened to all of us. It will continue to happen. It unfortunately, is just they way it is.

I found myself face down on the floor in a dark room, simmering with tears. It was a situation where I had been let down by someone I love, and I had let down someone that I love. But at that moment, all I wanted was to simply feel loved. And I didn’t. It is a tough place to be. But I did learn and experience something for the first time. I could come up with this good story of this glorious revelation, angels singing (in my head), and light coming down. But, that is not how it happened. As I laid there praying to feel love, I got what I wanted, in a way. I am loved. I know that in my head, I feel it in my heart. But at that moment, it was there. Did it solve the pain I was feeling? I would be lying if I said everything was healed at that moment. But it absolutely put everything in perspective. There is no greater love that we can receive than the one already given to us.

You see, I think I might have figured out why some people could have trouble believing that there is a loving God. I think it might because they have read the verses in the bible and heard people say that God loves you, but they could not look in his face and just see the love He has for us staring back. I mean, you can see it in the mountains, and beaches, and oxygen, and baseball; but I mean really see the Face of God looking back at you covered with unconditional love.

People will fail you. It is a given. But I think it is our job as followers of Christ to “minimize the damage.” I hope to continue to be loved by the people around me. I hope that God grants me the strength to truly love as He commanded. I know that I will continue to be loved by my Creator. To those who have failed me, I will get over it.

To those I have failed, I am sorry.

-Amen

A Simple Explanation

Ok, so as you may have noticed, I have removed one of my earlier blogs from the listing. Because I feel that communication within the body of Christ is so important, I feel obligated to at least give some explanation as to why I have done this.

When I started writing on this blog, I felt there was a need out there to start a conversation about what the Church should really be about and look like. At no time did I ever come under the illusion that I had the answers, but I did feel like I had an opinion that would contribute to the advancing of the dialogue. I believe that this dialogue is an important piece to the ongoing movement of Jesus. And I did, and do, feel passionately that some things need to be adjusted.

Now, here are some of the things I did not start this blog to do. I did not start this blog to promote the community of faith which I am a part. I did not start this blog to show people that I am right and they are wrong. I did not start this blog to tell people that they needed to setup their worship service like ours because it is obviously the best. Most importantly, I did not start this blog to judge anyone, especially other members of the Kingdom.

After I posted a recent blog, there were a few people who, how can I say this, disagreed with what I said in a section of the blog, which I am perfectly ok with. I actually enjoyed reading the comments that some of you posted. Here is where I am coming from when I write on this blog. I do not write to judge or criticize anyone, however I do feel that it is important to question. You see what questioning does is it prevents complacency from setting in and bringing this movement, which is much bigger than me and my blog, to a halt. That is why I was perfectly ok with those of you who commented on the blog challenging and questioning what I had written.

Some who commented about the other blog stated that they knew me and even said that we were friends. Well for those of you who do know me, you know that I want nothing more than a world overtaken by this Jesus movement from a unified body of Christ. I would love to see all of the followers of Jesus working together to bring the Kingdom of Heaven to where hell is on earth.

So in closing, I did not feel that the direction of the blog was going in anywhere close to a positive direction. I did not feel that it was serving justly the values of the Kingdom. I look forward to continuing the conversation (especially if you do not agree with me). What fun is a conversation if everybody says the same thing? I also look forward to standing side by side in this journey with all of the followers of Christ.

P.S. Some of you may have also already noticed that I have put a block on anonymous postings. Again I feel obligated to explain. Sometimes it is too easy for us to throw things out into cyberspace when it goes under the name anonymous. I think it adds so much more depth and meaning to our conversation when we are able to look each other “in the eye” as family in Christ and say, “I’m not sure I agree.” Just think of how huge that is. What an amazing step would that be in the progression of our ultimate goal of a unified Body doing the work of our Savior.

Television CAN Be Good For You

It is funny how you can sometimes hear what God is trying to say in some of the strangest places and ways. I was watching TV the other night, I know real surprising. But I wasn’t watching sports; that is actually very surprising for those of you who know me. I was actually watching the Kennedy Center Honors with my dog; he kind of likes the TV also.

I was sitting there enjoying all of the music that the honorees had performed or conducted through the years. They had everything, Country, old school R&B, Classical, and Show Tunes. I just sat there in awe; they were all so beautiful, in their own way of course. I mean how could you compare “My Girl” to “Joleen” or to “Music of the Night”? I mean it was just song after song after song that all I could do is sit and sing along, well not really loud on the “Music of the Night,” I didn’t want my dog to start howling.

After it was over it was kind of strange, I felt like I had a tear in my eye and still I had this feeling of happiness. You see, all of these artists were able to passionately express such beauty in their own unique way. They were all quite different, yet they had the same goal, to create wonderful art through music. In some way, this made it even more amazing.

Then I was thinking, is this not the same way with our worship of God? My wife and I were lucky enough to go home for Christmas and spend it with our families. Christmas Eve morning we woke up early to go to one of the early services at the church my wife grew up in with her family. I have to admit, this was not really something I was looking forward to. This particular church is a little more traditional than what I have become accustomed to. But during the sermon, the pastor, who I have heard give many sermons, really grabbed my attention. He was speaking about the courage of Mary, what she had to endure. He correlated it to having the courage to go out and help people in need, forgiving people, and giving people second chances. He thanked the congregation for all they do in the community, and he listed a few of the things. Then he challenged them to continue this and even increase their efforts. I sat there when he was finished and told my wife that I thought it was a sermon that could have been spoken at our church with no problem. It really started my Christmas Eve off on a wonderful foot.

You see, it is kind of like the artists who were getting honored. I think we can all have our own styles of worship, as long as we have the same goal in mind, watching over the sheep of our Lord Jesus Christ. I do not feel that it matters at all to God what kind of songs we sing, or what kind of robes the pastors wear, or if you make the sign of the cross, or if you clap during your songs, or if you wear a suit to church. But if it makes you feel better, go for it. God told us that He loves us, all of us. He also told us that we should love everyone, all of us. We may not always see eye to eye on things such as worship styles, and it is even ok to question others in the Body of Christ, but the goal of His followers should always be the same, to bring His Kingdom to where we are.

From Abu Dhabi with Love

So I have not been able to write about our recent trip to the Middle East yet. Yes, that is correct; we went to the Middle East. Yes, it was our idea. We actually went to Abu Dhabi during the Thanksgiving holiday to spend time with friends of ours who recently moved there. As you could probably figure out on your own, these were not just any friends, but two people who hold a very special place in our hearts.

Before I get started into what I am writing this about, let me answer some questions for those who know me well. Yes, I did bring my motion sickness medicine. Yes, I did get motion sickness. Yes, I did eat some Arabic food. No, I will never eat South Indian food again. Yes, there were camels. Yes, there were Christmas trees and songs in the stores. Yes, we did buy all of our Christmas ornaments for our tree in the United Arab Emirates, a Muslim country. No, we were not scared for our lives; although, overall the people there were not overly-friendly. Let’s just call them distant.

So hopefully that answers some questions.

Though our friend Ghazal made sure that every moment of our trip was enjoyable; there was one special moment that stands out in my mind, as it probably always will. Hayley and I could not go a Thanksgiving without having our Thanksgiving dinner. So, the four of us drove all around Abu Dhabi searching for just the right ingredients to make all of the classics for Thanksgiving. We did a wonderful job I must admit. After the Christmas music from Amin’s computer was quieted, after the oven was turned off, and after all the food was served; that is when the moment happened. If it had not been for my wife’s nagging, or I mean, suggesting (oops), the moment would have never happened. She suggested that we have a prayer together. So you say ok, no big deal, it’s a regular Thanksgiving dinner. But it was more than just a big deal; I believe it was God at work. There we were around this table, two Christians and three Muslims (two Sunnis and a Shiite), holding hands in prayer. We prayed that night, that somehow…someway…we could be an example to the world. We prayed that we could come together in Love to accomplish the same thing, the Will of God. This continues to be my prayer today. With everything that goes on in the name of religion, love still finds a way to unite in the name of God. I know, deep in my heart, that if Jesus were walking this earth today, he would have been sitting at that table holding our hands. I also know that He actually was there. I have my wife’s nagging to thank for it, I guess there’s a first for everything.

A Flower

So I know that it has been a while since I have been able to visit. But now that it looks like that my life may be getting back to some sort of normalcy, I think I will be around a little more often.

It amazes me how it always works out that we get more out of serving people than it seems the people we serve. For instance, recently a student came to my room and asked me to be their escort on the homecoming court. I never had this student in class, I only knew her through short conversations and encounters in the hallway. I of course said that I absolutely would be her escort without hesitation.

See, here is a chance as a teacher to make a connection with a student at my school and to be able to possibly be a presence in her life. Who wouldn't want to take the opportunity to be there for someone? I didn't know the situation, for all I know I could have been the last person that she asked and the only one who could do it. I had no idea. But it did not matter. Fact was, she asked, I said yes, and the opportunity was mine.

So, fast forward to halftime of the football game. We are walking across the football field at the fifty yard line, looking at the hundreds of people looking at us. She is wearing a beautiful dress with a beautiful smile, and I'm wearing a flower on my chest and her shaking arm in mine. I do my best to keep her from being nervous, but I know that it is an impossible goal at this time. The moment arrives where the new queen is to be announced. I feel her arm tighten up, and realize that I am quite nervous at this point as well.

The silence is broken as the announcer utters her name, and I look at her as her genuinely surprised smile covers her face, and I hug her. At this moment it all makes sense. Yes, I was there for her, yes I escorted her across the field. But, I was able to be the person to hug her the moment she was announced the queen. I was able to experience pure joy with the student of mine. As she received her crown, I could do nothing but honestly feel grateful to her for allowing me to experience this awesome time in her life with her.

I left when it was over; I had to go back to my coaching duties for the second half. But I still had a flower on my shirt, and I did not take it off. That flower is a symbol of the joy I was able to experience that night on the football field, and it had nothing to do with football.

This is what I feel about serving others. Jesus told us that we have a moral responsibility to serve others. We have grace for the purpose of sharing that grace with others through service. But I know Jesus understood exactly what would happen. Yes, serving others can do amazing things in this world. A few people can make a huge difference. But it is us; the people who serve that get something out of it. We get just as much from serving, as do the people we serve. You see, if I wouldn't have escorted her, somebody would have and the ceremony would have gone on without me. I was not the main part of the ceremony. But had I not escorted her, I never would have been able to experience the happiness and connection with that student. God, thank you for putting people in my life, and please grant me the ability to see opportunities to serve you and others in all aspects of my life.

Grace flows down on...Who?

We as Christians base our belief on the concept of grace. Jesus Christ went to the cross and died for the forgiveness of sins. Too often though, we tend to think of grace as a "keyword" in church. If you talk about grace in church, then that makes you a good Christian. My only thought to this is, when did the power of grace lose its true meaning?

The young adult group at my church, At The Water's Edge, recently did a powerful service about the true meaning of grace. It was really a special moment to see these young people, who are sometimes forgotten by some churches; present this powerful, theological content to our community with such passion and knowledge. In the end, the message was meant to challenge all of us (Christians), and to challenge our belief about grace and who "gets it." The group read stories about prostitutes, drug dealers, bigots, and murderers. People that most of us try to imagine do not exist. But the fact is, as much as we sometimes do not want to admit it; Jesus' grace is just as much for these people as it is for us.

The story that I think about is the thief on the cross with Jesus. Here is someone who probably did not do much good throughout his life. He even admits that he is "justly" being crucified. However, when he asks Jesus to remember him, Jesus tells the thief on that day he would be in paradise with Jesus. Good story, right? It helps us understand that even though we make mistakes, God still loves us. But this story says so much more. Imagine, while all of this is happening, the followers of Jesus are looking on and hearing the exchange between Jesus and the thief. These are people who gave up everything to follow Jesus. These are people who risked persecution to follow Jesus. And Jesus just promised a no good thief the same treasure that they were to receive. Talk about bringing up some questions I'm sure. I wonder what they were thinking. I wonder if they looked at the thief with disgust, thinking he must pay for his cruelties, just as many of us do today with certain criminals. I wonder, if they truly understood the message of Jesus, and saw this moment as one of the most powerful conversations in the history of mankind. I also wonder, if I would have been there, without knowing the rest of the story, what I would have thought.

You see, there are many instances that even today we find ourselves in a similar situation. Instead of some Christians running AIDS shelters, we carry signs and spew hate at homosexuals and talk about eternal damnation. Instead of trying to help and counsel a young girl who just chose abortion, we "call her a killer, call her a sinner, and call her a whore." Instead of helping "the least of these" on the side of the street in a cardboard box, we keep our eyes straight ahead, pretending we do not see them.

Jesus said to love. Love your God, love your neighbor, and love your enemies. Why do we feel that we can restrict who can receive Jesus' love and grace. Jesus never did. We have received the gift of grace so that we may go out and spread the love and grace of Jesus to everyone. Everyone. May we start.

Being a follower

Is it enough? Is it enough just to believe that Jesus is our personal savior? Let me say up front, this explanation is not my own. It was actually explained to me from someone from At the Water's Edge who I consider a friend and a lot smarter than myself.

Belief is a huge step, I understand the concept that the first step toward Christ is the biggest one. However, let's be honest, even Satan believes that Jesus is the Son of God. So even though it is a major step to state that Jesus is our savior, does it really only put us on the same plane as Satan? Well I'm sure that is a little bit of an overstatement, but you know what I mean. So, am I entering into the whole "grace alone" vs "good deeds" theological debate? I do not think so.

There is a difference between being a believer in Christ and being a follower of Christ. Let those two words jog around your brain a second, believer and follower. Let's go back to our first example, do I believe that Satan exists? Yes. Am I a follower of Satan? Absolutely not. Do I believe that Buddha existed and had some good things to say? Yes. Am I a follower of Buddha? No.

At some point a believer realizes that just believing that Jesus is Lord is a disservice to Jesus. It devalues what he taught and the suffering he endured. All throughout his teachings, Jesus explains what he expects from his followers. The concept that Jesus talks about more than any other is helping the poor. His teaching is not to sit in a church every Sunday "for the best hour of your life." At some point, a believer goes through a transformation and becomes a follower. I still have not figured out how someone who calls themselves a believer of Christ and has studied his Word can sit there and do nothing. Too many people get too caught up into "what can I get out of worship?" Rather, they should be asking themselves "what can I do to feed Jesus' sheep?" This transformation marks the difference between a believer and a follower. Are we saved by the grace of Jesus Christ? Absolutely. But we are saved by grace in order to do the work of God today. We are expected to live the Kingdom of God today with our neighbors, everybody. That is what Jesus taught and expected.

Jesus was a revolutionary teacher. We as the Church have done our best to water down his message as to not offend anybody. We have done our best to have the Messiah's words fit our personal thoughts and needs. When actually we should fit our thoughts and actions to fit the Messiah's words. Is it time for another Revolution? I think so.

Continuing a Revolution

The Webster definition defines revolution as follows: a : a sudden, radical, or complete change b : a fundamental change in the way of thinking about or visualizing something : a change of paradigm.

The Church (not the one that we know today) went through a major revolution about 2,000 years ago. If you want to, you can read about it in the books Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, and Acts which are in the Bible. It is actually a quite interesting read. Standards were changed, philosophy was changed, and commands were changed. Maybe most importantly, priorities were changed. The focus changed from a selfish view of salvation, to a divine responsibility of Love. Talk about a revolution. Fast forward to today.

The Church (the one we do know) may be in need of another revolution. Church is not a building that "Christians" gather, sing hymns, shake hands with other "Christians", and then go home and continue with their daily lives. Jesus said that wherever two or more people met in his name, he was there as well. HE WAS THERE. So am I saying that you do not need to increase your congregation numbers to be blessed as a congregation? Am I saying that you do not need the best power point to have a good service? Am I saying that you do not have to have a choir of 100 people to have a special worship experience? Precisely. The topic to which Jesus teaches the most is the "...to the least of these..." verses. We have all heard the Love your neighbors and enemies sermons, but do we really understand that those two categories include everyone? Jesus commanded that we Love everyone! The key is he did not say that we just love them in words, but we have a divine responsibility to HELP our neighbors and our enemies when they are in need. Church today is trying to spread the message of Christ by bringing more people into the walls of the church and singing together. Jesus wanted us TO BE church. Our lives should BE church. Everything we do should ooze church and Jesus' Love. Jesus did not bring people to him to give his miracles and message, he went out to them. That is what he expects from us. To reach out to EVERYONE in need. To take action. To Love them.

Do we need a sudden, radical, and complete change? Do we need a fundamental change in the way we think about or visualize church? Do we need a change in paradigm? I think so. I think it is time for another revolution!